I started to write Letters of Gratitude to the invitation of Rob Martin and Jack Pollock, who founded the Letters of Gratitude website, http://www.thelettersofgratitude.com/, and wrote the book http://www.amazon.com/The-Letters-Gratitude-Rob-Martin/dp/1478101172/ref=tmm_pap_title_0. They suggested a full list of words on which to reflect and write, and discover for ourselves what the word meant to us, and how each of us could develop gratitude for the manifestation of this word in our lives. This is a simplification of the beautiful work Rob and Jack did.

I have committed to write a Letter of Gratitude for each word included in Rob and Jack’s list. That was about a year ago. I completely messed up the process for myself by extending the practice for over a year instead of the suggested 30 days. I still enjoyed the depth to which the “digging deeper” brought me. Then, I got stuck with the word Secrets.

Secrets and Authenticity are the two ends of a spectrum. Developing gratitude for how the concept of Secrets in my life has materialized seems an impossible task. I simply do not have secrets. Authenticity has been the strongest blessing and the most damaging curse of my life.

I suspect, without any proof and many hints, that my mother has kept key facts of her life and experience under wraps. I suffered for it (think “unexpressed traumatic frustration”). The impacts on my life have been notwithstanding very real. These hidden facts, if they exist, are her secrets, not mine. Throughout my life, I have been a seeker of authenticity, in others and in myself. I have refused to play the games people play in society and in friendships, because it goes directly against my grain.

Like Buddhists say, we should be grateful for all that life made us up to this day. In that sense, I am grateful for people in my life from which I sensed they had secrets, or did not act authentically.

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