There is no life without pain, without scars. All families are dysfunctional, some more than others. Shit happens. Generally speaking, people do not want to die. We want to enjoy a long life. The fact is, the longer we live, the higher the probabilities of experiencing pain and collecting scars. Why? Because we need to learn, and sometimes, we do not understand the lessons until pain reaches us. Other times, people inflict it on us, people we love, and the lesson is on the side of letting go. The longer we live… pain is part of life. Pain is inevitable over the course of a lifetime. This human experience has something to teach each every time (the lesson, the silver lining).
It is true we learn fast through adversity. The opposite is also true: we do not need to experience pain to learn fast. Typically, passionate people, who experience life in living colors, will experience pain more acutely. This has been documented, with the personality types in psychology.
Every day, in prayer and meditation, I ask the Source to spare me pain and suffering throughout my lifetime learning. I ask to have the strength and discerning mind to learn without having to choose the painful road. I want, as much as possible, to walk on the path of least resistance.
The pain people inflict on us teaches us about compassion, acceptance, unconditional love, respect of boundaries. Our pain is the mirror of their own suffering, and many do not like what they see in the mirror. That is part of the experience.
Pain teaches us we are all part of the One. We come to understand that at the core, our needs for love, acceptance, peace and tenderness are all the same, in spite of our difference. Through pain, we have the choice to either soften and learn, or harden and lose ourselves in misery and stagnation.
I stay away from pain as much as possible, and say no to more scars. When inevitable, I will face pain and learn. By going through my painful experiences, I acquired depth and more capacity to love. That is priceless.